Archive for June, 2017

Chapter 14: Why we can’t help but look those gift-horses in the mouth.

Sunday, June 4th, 2017

In this chapter, Grimorex offers Queen Scarlet the gift of Meylyne’s alchemy and she asks what he wants in return adding, “this sort of generosity rarely comes without strings attached.” In this case it is normal for Grimorex to bargain with the lions in this way, but do you think that expectation happens in other situations too? If you give your friend a gift, or do your friend a favor, do you expect something back in return?

You might say no—that generosity with strings attached isn’t generosity at all—it’s a debt. I had a friend once who, when we fought, used to bring up all the favors she did for me to illustrate how I was a bad friend. “I did this for you and I did that for you,” she would fume. I remember thinking afterward, “if I’d known your friendship would come at such a price, I never would have accepted it in the first place.”

As my resentment grew, I reciprocated with list of my own—all the acts of friendship I’d done for her that she had failed to appreciate.

In other words, we both turned our relationship a scorecard.

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